MENTAL HEALTH DAY?

 7:25 AM

Fri 3, June 2022

Horcrux III playing: Tom Odell

On 1 June, my school celebrated the climax of our very first mental health week. I presented a poem.. 

(Poet walks on stage unintroduced, seemingly in a train of thought)

As usual I don't know where to start,

Thinking about it all and not understanding my thoughts,

It tears me apart,

I FELL FOR IT AGAIN,

And at the moment,

In my not so pleasant present, I'd like to give in to my reality

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take this, 

How I'm supposed to handle this,

It just had to be me born into this,

I need help,

A magical kind preferably, 

One that doesn't require actually talking about my feelings,

A month passes without a call or text,

And soon after my thoughts finally come to a still,

Another visit comes along, and we repeat the same old ugly routine,

My oppressor has instilled in me the discipline of pretence.

Everything's okay, when it's not.

Would someone do me a favour?

AND TALK TO ME

Because he's offline, and everybody that's actually in sight, 

Doesn't go beyond a "sorry", a pitiful look-

I have my hands tied,

There's not much you can do when you're just a child.

Speaking of pity, 

Pity me, 

Pity me enough to 

Help me,

Someone, someone please help me.

(Silence is broken by casual introduction of the poet by the host or mc)

(Poet switches persona and carries on with presentation)

Hey Everybody 👋 

Ayana here,

 I'll be reciting a poem today about Mental health.

How are you?

One of the less meaningful questions we ask,

Because we as a society of beings have concluded at maybe three and only three responses,

Okay. Good. Fine.

We fail to agree on religion, economic policies and what not, 

But we have generally agreed on one thing,

Our feelings are not something to just bring into the conversation,

Our mental sufferings are not for publication,

We have found a better way,

We have decided to pray,

To flock the churches and mosques,

Vocaling our help in form of polite- positive, prayer requests.

I judge from a biased hurt outside perspective.

This way of life is not really one at all, 

Without feeling good or bad, we're just- existing, 

To ignore this gift that sets us apart from all creatures,

To cower from it; is one- contradicting our supposed nature

I want to be brave,

Please do understand though, 

I'm not exactly in the right state of mind, so this is not meant to be the insightful kind, of a poem,

I've been swimming in the deep end for quite sometime now,

And my thoughts compared to anything are just so hard to comprehend,

So as I end, I hope you've picked something from my own recurring Breakdown,

And uh not forgetting,

Help me,

 yeah.

By: Muhawe Ayana

PS: The words crossed, yes- that's the part I forgot!

As a true product of my society, my mental health is not something I'm very comfortable talking about or sharing about. Yet- it is the backbone of all I create. All we create.

I asked one of the psychiatrists who spoke to us today this one question and I am still quite unsettled. 

"Why do you think, we as humans are fearful of our feelings?"

He answered, stating the stigma in society and false ideas we have about how emotional certain genders are to be. He talked about how it starts with our culture. But- what started this? Why did the first human and the next human after that frighten at his/her upside down smile, what has led us into wiping our eyes secretly- when we all know everyone cries. 

This fear, is pathetic...because we've veiled it with all sorts of ideas;

"Men are the heads of the home, they have to be strong."

"This isn't the right place or time!"

We're all just really scared actually.

On a more fun note, we ended the day with a color run!